This is the New Year

Happy New Year to all!

and to all a goodnight....

2015 was a bit of a shock to my system. It was full of anticipation, excitement, terror, peace, love, gratitude and joy. Throw in a baby, med school, grad school, and a furry dog and you get the picture. We are a lucky little family and I'm thrilled to be where we are today. Here's to hoping 2016 is just as fabulous, and a little less tricksy!

Aisle Tragedies Take #1

I'm challenging myself and putting some of my work on my blog....terrifying. Her's a little story I wrote about the grocery store that's pretty silly. What do you think and what's confusing? Comments more than welcome. 

Aisle Tragedies

3:30:

This boy was about 6 foot 5. Maybe a bit taller. An overgrown high schooler working in the produce department. He’d do.

“Ma’am?”

“Oh! No hun I can handle this. But I do need one of those avocada’s you’ve got over there, mind picking me a perfectly ripe one?” I bat my lashes a little. No one can resist these baby’s. I lace them with a subtle sparkle gloss and you wouldn’t believe how many heads I turn.

“Sure, no problem ma’am, anything I can do.”

Perfect. I’m guessing hunky in aisle 1 near the avocados is about 6 foot 2 but I need a height comparison and this boy is my yardstick.

It’s not like there’s much to go home to. My marriage is lost somewhere between past due rent and a pair of headphones attached to a male in front of a video game.

But avacada man. Yummy. Those eyes have been haunting me since the day I set pointed heel in this sticky linoleum grocery store. Eyes the color of an avocado’s insides. Green like moss climbing my legs and holding me where I stand. Yummy.

Me and him just so happen to shop on Tuesdays. Really the best day for shoppin’ the produce. Saturday is full of lazy college kids, stocking up for all nighter’s and binge partying. Sunday brings the wrecks out. You know the ones who look like they might shank ya if you choose the wrong cream of chicken? Monday’s got all the mommys out and about, already bored with the cheerio tower at home. But Tuesday. Ah now that’s the day the beauties come out.

“Here you are ma’am. One perfectly ripe avocado.” Yard Stick boy places it like a precious gem into my outstretched palm but my eyes stay glued on avocado man. “Anything else I can help you with this afternoon ma’am.” His voice jumps an octave on ‘ma’am’ and I bring my eyes to rest on his pimply face.

“humm, yes, actually, how tall did you say you were hunny?” Back to those green eyes. Well the back of his head anyway. The head that cradles them eyes.

“Uh, right, maybe 6’5?”

Doggonit  I’m good.

Avocada may be 6 foot 3. Perfect.  I can’t stand those men who think they’re above us all. The ones over 6’5 I mean. Discludin’ the overgrown highschooler. He’s a peach. Just the giants of the world. They smirk over our heads like they see a whole ‘nuther world of chocolate and berries floatin just out of our reach.

Then there’s the puny ones. I married one of those.

3:36

Avocada is just right. He usually picks up a few onions, red, a bunch of cilantro, and two avocados.  Somehow he always misses the produce misters by just a second. Impeccable timing and he get’s the driest cilantro on the shelves. But I like the misters. I start at the opposite end of the produce near the wall and leave my hand hovering over whatever greens and reds and purples are being drenched by the mechanical rain while Avacado struts those long, lean legs past the organic produce, layed out like a buffet for the crunchies. He turns down a new aisle. Strawberries? He almost sees me watchin’ but I casually fondle a tomato and ooh and ahh at the ruby red of it all.

His next stop is tortillas. I only know because I too have a love of tex-mex, and black beans happen to be on the same aisle. The whole wheat are his favorite--tortillas I mean--such a healthy choice. His strong hands slip under the shiny plastic and lift up the package like it’s light as a pack  of marshmallows. I know he’s strong. I’ve seen him take two gallons of milk out the automatic door with only one hand. I’ve never seen veins like that, blue like the longest flame flame, and sizzling,  on a man’s forearms. Yummy.

3:40

He gets to the end of the aisle and jerks to a stop. Avocado man doesn’t jerk. I notice the way his chocolate curls bounce back when he turns on his heel and reaches for enchilada sauce two shelves down. I can appreciate a man who experiments a little. Branches out.  Mine wears the same brown socks to church until they’re holier than the priest.

3:42

He’s finished. This is all he ever gets on Tuesday afternoon. Minus the strawberries and the sauce of course Maybe he comes another day to get the eggs, bread, milk. But today this is it. He flashes that smile at the checkout lady. I like to watch it linger on his lips- his story book dimples reaching to those avocado eyes. It’s faster than usual. The dimples don’t quite meet his eyes and he Pinks. Cheeks a warm summer sunset. Taking his change he veers off from the exit. The exit where he usually stands tall for a second and watches those doors open up like castle gates for a king. Avocado man stumbles over his feet instead and lands himself in the pre-made bouquet refrigerator.

3:50

He scans the shelves and settles on a bright arrangement of sunflowers and mums, tiny red roses weaved between the bigger blossoms. He grins again. The linger is real long this time.

The last time I got flowers from my stump of a man it was carnations. Yellow. No strawberries.

3:55

I’ll be five minutes late to dinner tonight.

Write Something

It tells me to write something
that little voice in my head,
Get ready!
it says.
Anything will do.

Write something inspiring, but not too deep-
inspiring with a hint of sarcasm-
Write something a tad bit hillarious-
maybe something that'll shed a tear.

Anything. Write anything.

But all I got is this.

Dealing with disappointment

Today I had to tell the kids who won {and didn't win} student council positions.
 I kid you not- I could not look at them in the eye.

They just look so sad when they don't get picked for things like this! And I remember!

I remember that kid, Ben was his name, in 5th grade who WON student council president of the whole school. I was devastated. I had worked so hard on my posters and my speech. My mom didn't help me with that stinkin glitter glue, and I had no fancy pictures or glossy posters to show- just a few markers and some poster board with some silly slogan and my mediocre artwork.

And I got nothin. All that hard work for nothin.

So, tiny kid in the 7th grade who zipped out of the room before the first slobbery, wet tear hit the floor, it's ok.

Marilyn Monroe said

Sometimes Good Things Fall Apart So 

Better 

Things Can Fall Together

Amen Marilyn! Amen!

I'm finding this to be more and more true in my life as I get older. Who knows what would have happened if I had been president of the 5th grade. Probably nothing. But maybe I would have gone on to do student government in middle and high school- which would of course lead to some ridiculous major like foreign diplomacy- I would have moved to France to study the EU- never have met my husband- and be stuck in France with too much leg hair and the British Prime Minister breathing down my neck! THE HORROR!

    ______________________________________________________________

All I'm saying is that it's ok when things don't work out the way we planned. I could never have imagined this life I live in a million years. So many things have worked out far better than I'd ever planned, while some things are just on the horizon, and others have been pushed to the wayside.

Thankfully, life is STILL beautiful. Everyday I'm amazed at all the wonderful things in this world. My precious pooch who snuggles into bed for a cozy nap, my darling students who grin at me until I let them off the hook, my hilarious husband singing Frozen in the shower at the top of his lungs.

These are the things that have the power to make us happy- not being 'President' of anything! Disappointment may sting for a few minutes, hours or days- but when you turn around to see the hugs, smiles, and love that results from your efforts, it's all worth the tears.

Be Happy my friends. That is how you deal with disappointment.

A little easter Bunny never hurt either...

Ideas

I've been thinking about how I've become an epic writing failure.

Granted I do have a full time job and a life- I feel like I've lost sight of my love to write and that makes me sad. So here is my attempt to get writing again. I've come up with some ideas and plan to write at least one essay a month. Essay,story,whatever I feel like. This will not be a story about life right now or the goings on of my and bens life. It will just be writing.

- "girl" friends

- this is believe

- the baby question

- dogs puppies and other canines

- my bed

- why head stands cure hopelessness 

- kicking the sugar habit 

- disappointment,grief, and understanding the plan

- the title teacher

There's nine for now. That should get me through this year at least!  Hopefully this is a goal I can reach!

February Fibs

I have no fibs but I thought it was a clever title eh? Look at this Cutie!

February was a crazy craz month for Ben and I. The first two weeks were insanely busy as I tried to finish up my Yoga teaching certificate requirements and Ben had lots of midterms! We saw each other occasionally when I dropped off dinner at school before heading to yoga...it was rough. I don't think we've ever eaten out so much in our lives. grossy. Those two weeks ended with Ben's birthday which was a huge success complete with tasty carrot cake- friends- and nutella hot cocoa. Oh yes and balloons, homemade pizza, and PF changs.

I surprised him with 25 balloons with 25 memories attached!

By the 3rd week I thought it was over! Lies. ALL Lies. First Ben got a little cold then a little food poisoning. lovely. Next I got a maaajor cold and was bed ridden for 4 days straight. Oh did I mention those four days included Valentines Day AND my birthday? Peachy really. Thankfully Ben pulled through on V-day and sent me some gorgeous Flowers at work which made me smiley :) 

Then on my birthday I wasn't well enough to leave at all but we did order some pizza and watch 'She's the Man'- possibly one of the best movies of all time. Sadly I was also covered in snotty tissues so few pictures captured the beauty.

Annnywayyyy- I finally have recovered and was able to spend way too much money this past weekend sprucing up my wardrobe with Laura at the outlets. Truly one of the most fabulous shopping extravaganzas of my life- Laura is a pro.

In other news

-haven't heard from any med schools

-haven't heard from BYU

-no clue what we're doing next year.

But life is pretty great- just chugging along. I'm sure there's more but I'm just trying to keep up with life right now!

Riley and Ollie have at it to win the heart of all the ladies

Best student award- seriously needed during this intense month!

My list of ten

I read this article this morning hoping for some inspiration- it was just what I needed-
breaking up with your ideal self
heaven knows I need to do this but it's SUPER hard! I've always had an image I strived to project and I usually achieve it. But it's my future self that I have a hard time with- especially when My future is so hazy and uncertain.

So instead of thinking about my future this morning I will take this article's advice
list of ten
Here is my list of ten things I love right now.


1. Frozen peach smoothies

2. My cozy bed piled high with blankets and plush pillows

3. When my pup sprints out of the kennel to jump on me every morning

4. The way my body feels like a rock star after a yoga class

5. My husbands healthy cooking

6. Watching my husband cook with that concentrated face

7. The apple cinnamon smell of my classroom when I walk in (thanks to my fabulous TA)

8. When my students surprise me and bring me apples in the morning

9. Downton Abbey episodes that make you laugh and cry and giggle like a 12 year old

10. Puppy snuggles


There's a lot of good in this life right now. I just forget sometimes.

Currently

Well gee golly gosh.

Lately our lives have been insane. Like really I've felt like I should be placed in an insane asylum.

Eating-
Ben and I have been eating like Health nuts for the past two months- though admittedly we've had a rough couple of weeks due to crazy schedules and life. Anyway I challenged myself to no sugar for a month and was incredibly successful! I made lots of muffins-which Ben loved, and we had healthy meals all that month. My body looooved it- but it was a bit difficult. Most of my time was spent cooking and planning good foods but it was worth it. I lost ten pounds which is absurd and fabulous because now I have no clothes to wear...
In other eating news we discovered  The Choc'late Mousse  a Pie Bar. It is truly the most fabulous dessert bar in Provo. You get to choose the filling, crust and toppings to your little wine/martini glass of pie. Really all you need is that little amount and you are happy as a Camel on hump-day (Ben's favorite commercial right now)

Loving-
We are loving our puppy right now. He is such a happy little guy and he's learning lots of new tricks. His repertoire now includes- sit, stay, up, down, hup (jumping over legs, arms etc) walk, come, catch, fetch, roll over, and this crazy thing where ben puts treats on his paws and he stares at them until you say ok and then he snatches them. Seriously=genius dog.

Ben is loving the cadaver lab where he spends most of his days, nights, life, staring at dead bodies and deciding whether that looks like a spleen or a chicken nugget.

Sydney is loving Yoga. I go to classes around 3-4 times a week and recently signed up for level 1 teacher training for January! I could not be more excited to see what opportunities this opens up for me. Of course I'll be at the studio even more than Ben has ben at the C.Lab, but at least the company is alive! Also I LOVED dressing up as Cinderella for Halloween! mostly proud that this costume I wore as a senior in high school still fit!

Feeling-
Honestly we've been a little stressed lately. We are waiting to hear from med schools- I'm studying for the GRE that won't do much for me if we get into med school-We have no idea where we'll be living next year, or what we'll be doing! So life is stressful but we are also feeling blessed because we have a great job, a great apartment, a fabulous dog, and each other!

Wanting-
To get into med school. period.

Enjoying-Oh we are enjoying lots of things. Lately we've been trying to go to the Provo Temple to get some family names done which has been a great experience. As Mormons we believe that it is our responsibility to perform sacred ordinances in the Temple for family that has passed on. These ordinances ensure that our families will be together forever, even after death! There is no "till death do us part" when families are sealed in the temple for time and ALL eternity!


So life is still good and we are looking forward to the Holidays just around the corner! Ben's family will be here for Thanksgiving then we'll be going to MI for a bit of Christmas then Mexico for the rest with mi familia! We're pumped- oh yes and our anniversary is in one month! Two years down- eternity to go!

wanderlust

Lots of people use their blogs for pictures I've noticed. I mostly use mine for writing.

When I was 20 I went to Italy for 6 weeks and then Greece for 1 week. I can honestly say I'd never felt more alive before that (I've done a lot of living since though). Of course I didn't feel dead, I just didn't feel like I was living as fully as I did in Italy.

There are lots of reasons for this phenom but I've really been thinking about it a lot lately, and mostly it makes me want to cry every time I think of it.

Actually- the sound of my washer cleaning Ben's clothes also makes me want to cry right now...must be that time again!

Anyway. Italy was the first place and time when I was in charge of no one but myself. It was my most selfish and introverted time whilst being my most flamboyant as well. Everything was about me. I had my own room, bathroom, spot outside our apt, music to listen to as I fell asleep, discussions with myself, my own friend, my own experiences, my own everything. No one at home could even imagine all the gorgeousness I saw everyday and I secretly loved that. I wrote essays and such to share with mi familia but it's not the same.

Everyday was like living in a fairytale. The whole city is a fairytale. The grocery store, the fruit stands, the gelato shops, the sites, the cobblestone, the pizza, the air/smog/oil, the superstition, the artists, the art, the street performers, the doorways to houses, the flower boxes, the colors of everything. It was so bright and vivid and alive!

I just miss it. I miss the uncertainty of it all and the adventure. I miss our little apartment and the train and walking everywhere.

My life now is an even bigger and wilder adventure, but sometimes I dream about sitting on the porch behind our apt. with a big bowl of fruit and my computer and listening to the pianist in our complex and breathing in the olive oil and writing.

I plain old miss it. Sometimes it's good to reminisce.

On the bright side...

My sweet and darling husband just texted me (text? texted?)

"on the bright side I get to drop one quiz. And on the other bright side I got **high score** on my test last night!"

He was seriously angry about his quiz score for maybe an hour....but most likely more like 15 minutes. The man has a super power of getting over things. I need that! Ugh that is why I love him.

But really on the bright side I am incredibly blessed.

I have an uuber cute hubs who likes to kiss my face
My puppy says goodbye to me in the morning with the sweetest sad face and kisses
I don't even have to use periods at the end of sentences
life is great! ( no caps either!)


Here is my pro & con list for going to grad school.

Pros of Grad School	Cons of Grad school
School! learning	Papers/homework
No more work! (teaching kills/thrills)	No income from da job
More time at home with Ollie	Applying is rough
More opportunities afterwards	Taking the GRE is rough
Writing again	Lots of sitting
Broadening my scope/seeing more than the inside of my classroom	Applying while working is hard
Resume extending	might have to go to bed after 10:30....
Spend less on gasoline
Less stress on the back
Student discounts
Student Insurance

So, pretty good options I'd say. If I went to back to school I'd have to whip my buns into gear real quick to take the GRE in December. I'd also have to submit pieces of writing I've already created. This isn't so terrible as I've written about a million essays in my career as a 5-year college undergrad- but I would need to do some serious editing I'm sure. 

I can't even remember what's Kosher in college. Mostly I'm more worried about kids finishing their sentences with a period (hypocrite). So this whole editing process could be difficult. I may need to enlist some helpers. 

Also letters of recommendation. Things that make ya say hmmmmmmm. Options- Greirson, Thursby, Bennion, Dean, Dyer. All these peoples has seen my writings and know that sometimes i's can write good.

In other news, I came into my 4th hour class the other day and all the kids were reading (like precious angels) with their right hands on top of their heads. Like it was just normal. Because normal people do such things. All 30 of them. Bunch of weirdos. Love them.

Plogged

Yes, plogged. What is that feeling when your ears are stuffy and clogged and plugged? Plogged. Naturally.

A new word I invented that is close to the word plagued- which I cannot say correctly if my life depended on it.

And the reason for which I write this entry.

I've been struggling with an obnoxious and debilitating back injury since last November and I'm coming up on the year mark. I have not run, danced,jumped, or done any physical activity come to think of it, without being in pain for a year now.

How can that be? I'm 24, in the best shape of my life (after recovering from Summer De Otto 2013 and it's divine eats) and I'm active as all get out. I walk my dog, I swim once a week, I do yoga at least three times a week, and I usually throw in climbing or playing at the park- and oh yes, teaching middle school for 6 hours a day. I am NOT sedentary, overweight, depressed, or bored by any stretch of anyone's imagination.

So what is wrong?

1. When I stand, sit, swim, do anything for more than 10 minutes my back starts to collapse under my body weight. It's like a giant anvil is placed at the top of my spine, picked back up, then dropped again, over and over and over.

2. I'm inexplicably exhausted the day after a good workout. I love working out. I could work out for hours if my body didn't fight me over it. If I push myself to excel, even just in my Yoga practice, the next day is torture. I wake up tired, I feel sleepy all day, yawns beyond yawns, and my body is cold and wracked with aches and pains. It's a bit more severe than your average post-workout-soreness...

3. My moods are "like a wrecking ball". Yep quoted that. For one day, hour, minute- I'm happy as can be, happy to help, clear minded and excited to chat, teach or converse in general. The next minute I want to throttle someone then cry in the corner of the teacher's lounge. I snap at kids, I treat my husband like one of my students, and reign like the Queen of hearts over my students- though most heads are still in place.

4. I'm so tired, Did I mention that? I fell asleep on my desk during my prep period DURING a Spanish class that was going on in my room. DURING.

5. My sacrum, low back, and low spine are on constant alert for a 'zing' to run up or across my back. If those happen I give and audible OW! regardless of where I am. The pain is so severe that I usually have to hold on to something around me for a second before I regain control and balance.

6. Shoulders, neck, head- ache, ache, ache. everything hurts. That's just stupid, how can everything hurt? It's not all the time, but there's usually something wrong, hurting, or throbbing at all times.

There you have it. I'm most likely turning into a vampire or some other creature right?
I've bored you enough. In other news. We're still waiting on Med/DO schools and worrying about interviews. Ben is still the most darling husband I've ever loved. And Oliver is cuter than he should be and best little companion. I'm thinking of taking the GRE and perhaps going to Grad School but I'm not sure my body can take more stress at the moment. And My parents have regular pickle-ball tournaments.

Obviously.

Life is terrifying

Oh Hi Life is terrifying! Wanna know why?

1. I'm teaching 3 grades right now. Not like 3 different 9th grade classes, but 3 different grades. 7, 8, 9.

2. I have a small dog who is somewhat like a baby and tomorrow is the first day we leave him for extended periods of time so we can both go to school/work. Eek! I'm sure he'll be fine, but he's just a baby!

3. Ben is applying to medical schools right now and our lives are hanging in the balance. Either is ok I'd just like to know!

4. Ben also just bought a scooter...like the motorized, helmet wearing, tiny horn scooters.

5. We start the ultimate budgeting system this month. I'm quite scared to see how much we actually spend :/

6. I'm the student Council advisor this year. Should be hillarious.

That's it, that's all.
Turns out terror is something very close to excitement so I'm quite happy about that.

First Week of school musings

Ah, blogosphere! I've missed you!

I finally decided to catch up on some blog reading and found the most fantastic entry by one of my College/teacher friends ( can I say that Regan?) Annyywayy, she wrote about a convocation speech she had read recently that resonated with her.

This year at my school we are starting a campaign called "Not at my School" in an effort to prevent bullying. It's amazing how mean kids can be! Not to mention teachers...sometimes it just happens people! We're not perfect! 160 kids all day long is sometimes more than the most patient teacher can handle!

Last year my last month of school was tainted becuase I exhibited a "failure of kindness", I guess you could even go so far as to say I was plain mean to one of my students. It was not on purpose and it was in reaction to something potentially dangerous, but that's no excuse. This entry helped me remember that I must be the example of kindness to my students if I am to expect kindness from them.

the story-

Here’s something I regret:

In seventh grade, this new kid joined our class.  In the interest of confidentiality, her Convocation Speech name will be “ELLEN.”  ELLEN was small, shy.  She wore these blue cat’s-eye glasses that, at the time, only old ladies wore.  When nervous, which was pretty much always, she had a habit of taking a strand of hair into her mouth and chewing on it.

So she came to our school and our neighborhood, and was mostly ignored, occasionally teased (“Your hair taste good?” – that sort of thing).  I could see this hurt her.  I still remember the way she’d look after such an insult: eyes cast down, a little gut-kicked, as if, having just been reminded of her place in things, she was trying, as much as possible, to disappear.  After awhile she’d drift away, hair-strand still in her mouth.  At home, I imagined, after school, her mother would say, you know: “How was your day, sweetie?” and she’d say, “Oh, fine.”  And her mother would say, “Making any friends?” and she’d go, “Sure, lots.”

Sometimes I’d see her hanging around alone in her front yard, as if afraid to leave it.

And then – they moved.  That was it.  No tragedy, no big final hazing.

One day she was there, next day she wasn’t.

End of story.

Now, why do I regret that?  Why, forty-two years later, am I still thinking about it?  Relative to most of the other kids, I was actually pretty nice to her.  I never said an unkind word to her.  In fact, I sometimes even (mildly) defended her.

But still.  It bothers me.

So here’s something I know to be true, although it’s a little corny, and I don’t quite know what to do with it:

What I regret most in my life are failures of kindness. 

Those moments when another human being was there, in front of me, suffering, and I responded…sensibly.  Reservedly.  Mildly.

Or, to look at it from the other end of the telescope:  Who, in your life, do you remember most fondly, with the most undeniable feelings of warmth?

Those who were kindest to you, I bet.

It’s a little facile, maybe, and certainly hard to implement, but I’d say, as a goal in life, you could do worse than: Try to be kinder.

So please try and be a little kinder this week will ya?

Here's the Thing

Here's the thing
I'm not incredibly inspired to write! Why you might ask?

Who can be sure?

could it be that I'm tirelessly distracted by this?

seriously. beach. babe. pup.

What more could I want right now?

Also- right now my little pup is snuggling with me as I write this and there's really no time to waste!

Currently

I'm so terribly sorry little blog- I have ignored and abused thee. But here I am once more to report on the insanity that has been the past month or so.

Once again I bring you "Currently" with the Ottos

Eating- Since we are moving to MI for the summer we have ben eating anything and everything that is already in our tiny kitchen. This has led to some creative dinners. Black bean burgers (frozen) Veggie Mixes (Frozen) Assorted muffins (with Frozen berries) {I refuse to buy cereal is I can just keep making muffins...} Anyway, you get the idea. Frozen foods and canned goods to the rescue! Also we ate about a million cuppys and candies for Zoee Gail's birthday- heaven.

Loving-The fact that I have 5 MORE DAYS OF SCHOOL. Heavens people, the first year really is madness and I'm more than happy to leave it in the past after this week. It's fabulous don't get me wrong, but also terrifying, draining, stretching, maddening and all around rough. I'm also loving that I get my baby puppy in 7 days!!

side note- we've decided to name him Oliver :) Ollie for short!

Feeling- Relieved- Ben has FINALLY taken the MCAT! and though we won't know what he got for another month- it's over!! Halleluja I'm so proud of that man! The family predicts a 44 in his future and a ridiculously expensive medical school......Also relieved that school is almost over and that the dreaded Shakespeare Festival has finally ended.
Also feeling like a terrible person because a student's parent had to teach me a hard learned lesson this week that probably merits it's own blog post because it's so embarrassing. Like I said, rough.
Lastly- feeling a win. A student that I taught during my student teaching sent me a kind email and a graduation announcement! He said that my class had been one of the best and most fun learning experiences in his life. I about cried.


Wanting-School to end..oh have I said that already? We are wanting a lovely 2-3 bedroom apartment that is pet friendly to open up in Provo so we will have somewhere to live next Fall. Because as of now we are those cutey homeless people you see on the side of the road with a dog and a sign that says "will work for a room!"Lovely. I've also been wanting to see my baby sisters again and my baby nephew! Gosh dang is he cute!

Enjoying- The weather! It has been nice and cool and stormy these past couple days. And then gorgeous and sunny! We've taken advantage and gone on walks, went rock climbing up the canyon and I have personally been enjoying popping a monster horse pill for my allergies every day! Ben has been enjoying his MCAT studying and working out everyday because that's ALL HE DOES folks. It's grand. I've been enjoying this marvelous show called "call the Midwife" on PBS and I'm completely obsessed. I may or may not be convinced that I should have lived in the 50's. Or the 30's for Downtown Abbey. I have a PBS/BBC problem.

adieu and bon ete!

Favorite student award

25 minutes after school gets out

Me: *watching Baz Luhrman's Romeo and Juliet in my classroom, prepping for R&J*

Male Student 1: (barges into the classroom) Hey Mrs. Otto!

Male student 2: (right on his heels) What's up Mrs. Otto?

(both students sit in desks near mine)

Me: Hey guys, what can I do for you?

Student 1: We just wanted to talk about the play!

Student 2: Yeah, yeah! We just wanted to chat about Romeo and Juliet, that was a great performance today!

Me: yeahhhh.......

Random Kid in doorway: Hey, 'sup

Me: uhhhh

Student 1: oh, that's my brother. We were just coming to say hi.

Random Kid "brother": Yeah right you liars, you just wanted to show me the hottest teacher in the school! Come on we gotta go!

Students 1 &2 : (heads hung in embarrassment, moseying out of the room) 'slater Mrs. Otto.

Me: ....bye guys.....


yep, made my day.

Caesar dressing- stories of wonderment

When I was 15 I learned how to make the most divine salad dressing known to mankind by Miss Jennifer Smith In Green Bay Wisconsin.

Then I forgot it.....

When I finally entered the real world as an adult I remembered said dressing and how heavenly it made those nasty little rabbit foods tastet. I HAD to have it.

Naturally I turned to my mother, the knower of all things food.

She has taken said recipe and written it out into real life measurements, but to be honest, these women just throw things together and out pops glory, so experiment!

Ingredients for Croutons
- Everything bagels (I usually tear up 2 or 3 depending on how bready I feel)
- a little olive oil to drizzle over
- some garlic salt to sprinkle on top

obviously I have yet to create an exact science, get creative people! Drizzle olive oil over torn pieces of bagel in a saute pan until a little brown, then bake in the over at 325 F for ten minutes. Ta-da!

Dressing
- 1 Cup olive Oil
-4 cloves garlic (pressed in the oil, let it sit for a bit)
-1 tbs mayo
-2 tbs brown mustard
-2 tbs Worcestershire sauce
- 4 tbs Red Wine Vinegar
--Juice from 1- 1.5 lemons (depends how tart you like it!)
-a little salt

Wisk together until blended

Pour over fresh, crisp, green lettuce with the croutons and a little fresh parmesan cheese and you'll never be happier! Oh wait, add a little chicken to that and THAT will be the happiest you've ever been.

For the love of parents

Today a parent came in to chat with me after school...

mind you- I've had both great (we love you!) and hideous (it's your fault he's getting an F!) experiences with this so I was a little nervous.

She was a parent I'd never met before and turns out I have two of her kids, one in 7th and one in 9th.

The 7th grader is a pretty normal boy, just chill and a great student but I've never had trouble with him.

The 9th grade girl is a different story. She's your classic, closet creator.

The kind that shows her personality to no one but her journal,
has very few if any friends at school
and rarely, if ever, speaks.

She is absolutely vibrant on paper, beautiful, poignant thoughts and an attitude! She has very specific opinions and will not be swayed by classmates. But she also won't talk to them about it either-she just is the way she is. She LOVES the Twilight series, and is an avid reader as far as I could tell.

Her mother comes in, we talk about the boy, then she says "but really I want to talk about *girl*"

She procedes to tell me how much of a difference I've made in her daughter's life. That I've fueled her (very recent) budding love of reading. I've encouraged her in her writing and built her confidence. And that she loves me as a teacher, and my class is one of the only reasons she likes to come to school.

Teary eyed and sniffling, she said that I had made a difference.

{after a week of parents questioning my book choices, finalizing term grades, screaming/anxious kids ready for spring break, whiny teachers,  and a myriad of sundry issues, I realized this,}

It's all worth it. Every five weeks of torture is worth 5 minutes of a parent telling you that you are loved by their kid.

Maybe I do love this job after all.

Da Boinjamin

here's the deal

Benjamin is...

• in a million difficult classes including some version of 
• chemistry, 
• physics, 
• physiology, 
• and some other sumthin sumthin this term plus two labs
• studying for the MCAT in ALL his extra time- including but not limited to, in the car, on his walk to school, and whenever he looks at the bathroom mirror (he's written some nice equations there for me to learn whilst applying makeup...)
• taking a killer MCAT class two days a week three hours each in Orem
• attempting to stay fit by going swimming at 6 am, or
• to the gym in the evenings

...but he was late to MCAT class tonight because he dreaded the thought of me coming home to dirty dishes.

I've married an angel. 

Teaching is hard

Can I just tell you that my job is hard?
Not always in the--demanding, busy, hectic--way, but in other ways.

1. Emotional toll- last night i worried and fretted all evening about one of my students who is feeling depressed and having some emotional crapola going on. It seriously knotted up my guts! I feel like these kids are mine! My life! Heaven knows I can't stand them some days, but I'm really going to miss their crazy ideas, dreams, stories and laughs after school ends.

2. The loudness- I've never heard so much noise in my entire life....and I've been to several concerts and not been able to hear the next day. Maybe it's the shrillness of their tiny voices....?

3. The energy zap- I'm completely devoid of all energy when the day is done. Even (almost especially) on the days when the kids mostly conduct their own class, or work days. I just feel like I got hit by a bus, then flipped over it, fell off the back and landed on another friendly vehicle. I end up looking like this...

All this is fine and dandy but in the end, I do love my kids, I love being here every day and being a part of their lives. I love laughing with them (they think I'm funny!) and crying with them. I love their hairbrained ideas that lead to amazing projects, and I love their humanness.

Adults get less and less human, and less and less honest. Kids are always honest. It's safe to say I fit better here than in the real world. I'll just have to get over the hard stuff.