Life is terrifying

Oh Hi Life is terrifying! Wanna know why?

1. I'm teaching 3 grades right now. Not like 3 different 9th grade classes, but 3 different grades. 7, 8, 9.

2. I have a small dog who is somewhat like a baby and tomorrow is the first day we leave him for extended periods of time so we can both go to school/work. Eek! I'm sure he'll be fine, but he's just a baby!

3. Ben is applying to medical schools right now and our lives are hanging in the balance. Either is ok I'd just like to know!

4. Ben also just bought a scooter...like the motorized, helmet wearing, tiny horn scooters.

5. We start the ultimate budgeting system this month. I'm quite scared to see how much we actually spend :/

6. I'm the student Council advisor this year. Should be hillarious.

That's it, that's all.
Turns out terror is something very close to excitement so I'm quite happy about that.

First Week of school musings

Ah, blogosphere! I've missed you!

I finally decided to catch up on some blog reading and found the most fantastic entry by one of my College/teacher friends ( can I say that Regan?) Annyywayy, she wrote about a convocation speech she had read recently that resonated with her.

This year at my school we are starting a campaign called "Not at my School" in an effort to prevent bullying. It's amazing how mean kids can be! Not to mention teachers...sometimes it just happens people! We're not perfect! 160 kids all day long is sometimes more than the most patient teacher can handle!

Last year my last month of school was tainted becuase I exhibited a "failure of kindness", I guess you could even go so far as to say I was plain mean to one of my students. It was not on purpose and it was in reaction to something potentially dangerous, but that's no excuse. This entry helped me remember that I must be the example of kindness to my students if I am to expect kindness from them.

the story-

Here’s something I regret:

In seventh grade, this new kid joined our class.  In the interest of confidentiality, her Convocation Speech name will be “ELLEN.”  ELLEN was small, shy.  She wore these blue cat’s-eye glasses that, at the time, only old ladies wore.  When nervous, which was pretty much always, she had a habit of taking a strand of hair into her mouth and chewing on it.

So she came to our school and our neighborhood, and was mostly ignored, occasionally teased (“Your hair taste good?” – that sort of thing).  I could see this hurt her.  I still remember the way she’d look after such an insult: eyes cast down, a little gut-kicked, as if, having just been reminded of her place in things, she was trying, as much as possible, to disappear.  After awhile she’d drift away, hair-strand still in her mouth.  At home, I imagined, after school, her mother would say, you know: “How was your day, sweetie?” and she’d say, “Oh, fine.”  And her mother would say, “Making any friends?” and she’d go, “Sure, lots.”

Sometimes I’d see her hanging around alone in her front yard, as if afraid to leave it.

And then – they moved.  That was it.  No tragedy, no big final hazing.

One day she was there, next day she wasn’t.

End of story.

Now, why do I regret that?  Why, forty-two years later, am I still thinking about it?  Relative to most of the other kids, I was actually pretty nice to her.  I never said an unkind word to her.  In fact, I sometimes even (mildly) defended her.

But still.  It bothers me.

So here’s something I know to be true, although it’s a little corny, and I don’t quite know what to do with it:

What I regret most in my life are failures of kindness. 

Those moments when another human being was there, in front of me, suffering, and I responded…sensibly.  Reservedly.  Mildly.

Or, to look at it from the other end of the telescope:  Who, in your life, do you remember most fondly, with the most undeniable feelings of warmth?

Those who were kindest to you, I bet.

It’s a little facile, maybe, and certainly hard to implement, but I’d say, as a goal in life, you could do worse than: Try to be kinder.

So please try and be a little kinder this week will ya?

Here's the Thing

Here's the thing
I'm not incredibly inspired to write! Why you might ask?

Who can be sure?

could it be that I'm tirelessly distracted by this?

seriously. beach. babe. pup.

What more could I want right now?

Also- right now my little pup is snuggling with me as I write this and there's really no time to waste!

Currently

I'm so terribly sorry little blog- I have ignored and abused thee. But here I am once more to report on the insanity that has been the past month or so.

Once again I bring you "Currently" with the Ottos

Eating- Since we are moving to MI for the summer we have ben eating anything and everything that is already in our tiny kitchen. This has led to some creative dinners. Black bean burgers (frozen) Veggie Mixes (Frozen) Assorted muffins (with Frozen berries) {I refuse to buy cereal is I can just keep making muffins...} Anyway, you get the idea. Frozen foods and canned goods to the rescue! Also we ate about a million cuppys and candies for Zoee Gail's birthday- heaven.

Loving-The fact that I have 5 MORE DAYS OF SCHOOL. Heavens people, the first year really is madness and I'm more than happy to leave it in the past after this week. It's fabulous don't get me wrong, but also terrifying, draining, stretching, maddening and all around rough. I'm also loving that I get my baby puppy in 7 days!!

side note- we've decided to name him Oliver :) Ollie for short!

Feeling- Relieved- Ben has FINALLY taken the MCAT! and though we won't know what he got for another month- it's over!! Halleluja I'm so proud of that man! The family predicts a 44 in his future and a ridiculously expensive medical school......Also relieved that school is almost over and that the dreaded Shakespeare Festival has finally ended.
Also feeling like a terrible person because a student's parent had to teach me a hard learned lesson this week that probably merits it's own blog post because it's so embarrassing. Like I said, rough.
Lastly- feeling a win. A student that I taught during my student teaching sent me a kind email and a graduation announcement! He said that my class had been one of the best and most fun learning experiences in his life. I about cried.


Wanting-School to end..oh have I said that already? We are wanting a lovely 2-3 bedroom apartment that is pet friendly to open up in Provo so we will have somewhere to live next Fall. Because as of now we are those cutey homeless people you see on the side of the road with a dog and a sign that says "will work for a room!"Lovely. I've also been wanting to see my baby sisters again and my baby nephew! Gosh dang is he cute!

Enjoying- The weather! It has been nice and cool and stormy these past couple days. And then gorgeous and sunny! We've taken advantage and gone on walks, went rock climbing up the canyon and I have personally been enjoying popping a monster horse pill for my allergies every day! Ben has been enjoying his MCAT studying and working out everyday because that's ALL HE DOES folks. It's grand. I've been enjoying this marvelous show called "call the Midwife" on PBS and I'm completely obsessed. I may or may not be convinced that I should have lived in the 50's. Or the 30's for Downtown Abbey. I have a PBS/BBC problem.

adieu and bon ete!

Favorite student award

25 minutes after school gets out

Me: *watching Baz Luhrman's Romeo and Juliet in my classroom, prepping for R&J*

Male Student 1: (barges into the classroom) Hey Mrs. Otto!

Male student 2: (right on his heels) What's up Mrs. Otto?

(both students sit in desks near mine)

Me: Hey guys, what can I do for you?

Student 1: We just wanted to talk about the play!

Student 2: Yeah, yeah! We just wanted to chat about Romeo and Juliet, that was a great performance today!

Me: yeahhhh.......

Random Kid in doorway: Hey, 'sup

Me: uhhhh

Student 1: oh, that's my brother. We were just coming to say hi.

Random Kid "brother": Yeah right you liars, you just wanted to show me the hottest teacher in the school! Come on we gotta go!

Students 1 &2 : (heads hung in embarrassment, moseying out of the room) 'slater Mrs. Otto.

Me: ....bye guys.....


yep, made my day.

Caesar dressing- stories of wonderment

When I was 15 I learned how to make the most divine salad dressing known to mankind by Miss Jennifer Smith In Green Bay Wisconsin.

Then I forgot it.....

When I finally entered the real world as an adult I remembered said dressing and how heavenly it made those nasty little rabbit foods tastet. I HAD to have it.

Naturally I turned to my mother, the knower of all things food.

She has taken said recipe and written it out into real life measurements, but to be honest, these women just throw things together and out pops glory, so experiment!

Ingredients for Croutons
- Everything bagels (I usually tear up 2 or 3 depending on how bready I feel)
- a little olive oil to drizzle over
- some garlic salt to sprinkle on top

obviously I have yet to create an exact science, get creative people! Drizzle olive oil over torn pieces of bagel in a saute pan until a little brown, then bake in the over at 325 F for ten minutes. Ta-da!

Dressing
- 1 Cup olive Oil
-4 cloves garlic (pressed in the oil, let it sit for a bit)
-1 tbs mayo
-2 tbs brown mustard
-2 tbs Worcestershire sauce
- 4 tbs Red Wine Vinegar
--Juice from 1- 1.5 lemons (depends how tart you like it!)
-a little salt

Wisk together until blended

Pour over fresh, crisp, green lettuce with the croutons and a little fresh parmesan cheese and you'll never be happier! Oh wait, add a little chicken to that and THAT will be the happiest you've ever been.

For the love of parents

Today a parent came in to chat with me after school...

mind you- I've had both great (we love you!) and hideous (it's your fault he's getting an F!) experiences with this so I was a little nervous.

She was a parent I'd never met before and turns out I have two of her kids, one in 7th and one in 9th.

The 7th grader is a pretty normal boy, just chill and a great student but I've never had trouble with him.

The 9th grade girl is a different story. She's your classic, closet creator.

The kind that shows her personality to no one but her journal,
has very few if any friends at school
and rarely, if ever, speaks.

She is absolutely vibrant on paper, beautiful, poignant thoughts and an attitude! She has very specific opinions and will not be swayed by classmates. But she also won't talk to them about it either-she just is the way she is. She LOVES the Twilight series, and is an avid reader as far as I could tell.

Her mother comes in, we talk about the boy, then she says "but really I want to talk about *girl*"

She procedes to tell me how much of a difference I've made in her daughter's life. That I've fueled her (very recent) budding love of reading. I've encouraged her in her writing and built her confidence. And that she loves me as a teacher, and my class is one of the only reasons she likes to come to school.

Teary eyed and sniffling, she said that I had made a difference.

{after a week of parents questioning my book choices, finalizing term grades, screaming/anxious kids ready for spring break, whiny teachers,  and a myriad of sundry issues, I realized this,}

It's all worth it. Every five weeks of torture is worth 5 minutes of a parent telling you that you are loved by their kid.

Maybe I do love this job after all.