This is the New Year

Happy New Year to all!

and to all a goodnight....

2015 was a bit of a shock to my system. It was full of anticipation, excitement, terror, peace, love, gratitude and joy. Throw in a baby, med school, grad school, and a furry dog and you get the picture. We are a lucky little family and I'm thrilled to be where we are today. Here's to hoping 2016 is just as fabulous, and a little less tricksy!

Aisle Tragedies Take #1

I'm challenging myself and putting some of my work on my blog....terrifying. Her's a little story I wrote about the grocery store that's pretty silly. What do you think and what's confusing? Comments more than welcome. 

Aisle Tragedies

3:30:

This boy was about 6 foot 5. Maybe a bit taller. An overgrown high schooler working in the produce department. He’d do.

“Ma’am?”

“Oh! No hun I can handle this. But I do need one of those avocada’s you’ve got over there, mind picking me a perfectly ripe one?” I bat my lashes a little. No one can resist these baby’s. I lace them with a subtle sparkle gloss and you wouldn’t believe how many heads I turn.

“Sure, no problem ma’am, anything I can do.”

Perfect. I’m guessing hunky in aisle 1 near the avocados is about 6 foot 2 but I need a height comparison and this boy is my yardstick.

It’s not like there’s much to go home to. My marriage is lost somewhere between past due rent and a pair of headphones attached to a male in front of a video game.

But avacada man. Yummy. Those eyes have been haunting me since the day I set pointed heel in this sticky linoleum grocery store. Eyes the color of an avocado’s insides. Green like moss climbing my legs and holding me where I stand. Yummy.

Me and him just so happen to shop on Tuesdays. Really the best day for shoppin’ the produce. Saturday is full of lazy college kids, stocking up for all nighter’s and binge partying. Sunday brings the wrecks out. You know the ones who look like they might shank ya if you choose the wrong cream of chicken? Monday’s got all the mommys out and about, already bored with the cheerio tower at home. But Tuesday. Ah now that’s the day the beauties come out.

“Here you are ma’am. One perfectly ripe avocado.” Yard Stick boy places it like a precious gem into my outstretched palm but my eyes stay glued on avocado man. “Anything else I can help you with this afternoon ma’am.” His voice jumps an octave on ‘ma’am’ and I bring my eyes to rest on his pimply face.

“humm, yes, actually, how tall did you say you were hunny?” Back to those green eyes. Well the back of his head anyway. The head that cradles them eyes.

“Uh, right, maybe 6’5?”

Doggonit  I’m good.

Avocada may be 6 foot 3. Perfect.  I can’t stand those men who think they’re above us all. The ones over 6’5 I mean. Discludin’ the overgrown highschooler. He’s a peach. Just the giants of the world. They smirk over our heads like they see a whole ‘nuther world of chocolate and berries floatin just out of our reach.

Then there’s the puny ones. I married one of those.

3:36

Avocada is just right. He usually picks up a few onions, red, a bunch of cilantro, and two avocados.  Somehow he always misses the produce misters by just a second. Impeccable timing and he get’s the driest cilantro on the shelves. But I like the misters. I start at the opposite end of the produce near the wall and leave my hand hovering over whatever greens and reds and purples are being drenched by the mechanical rain while Avacado struts those long, lean legs past the organic produce, layed out like a buffet for the crunchies. He turns down a new aisle. Strawberries? He almost sees me watchin’ but I casually fondle a tomato and ooh and ahh at the ruby red of it all.

His next stop is tortillas. I only know because I too have a love of tex-mex, and black beans happen to be on the same aisle. The whole wheat are his favorite--tortillas I mean--such a healthy choice. His strong hands slip under the shiny plastic and lift up the package like it’s light as a pack  of marshmallows. I know he’s strong. I’ve seen him take two gallons of milk out the automatic door with only one hand. I’ve never seen veins like that, blue like the longest flame flame, and sizzling,  on a man’s forearms. Yummy.

3:40

He gets to the end of the aisle and jerks to a stop. Avocado man doesn’t jerk. I notice the way his chocolate curls bounce back when he turns on his heel and reaches for enchilada sauce two shelves down. I can appreciate a man who experiments a little. Branches out.  Mine wears the same brown socks to church until they’re holier than the priest.

3:42

He’s finished. This is all he ever gets on Tuesday afternoon. Minus the strawberries and the sauce of course Maybe he comes another day to get the eggs, bread, milk. But today this is it. He flashes that smile at the checkout lady. I like to watch it linger on his lips- his story book dimples reaching to those avocado eyes. It’s faster than usual. The dimples don’t quite meet his eyes and he Pinks. Cheeks a warm summer sunset. Taking his change he veers off from the exit. The exit where he usually stands tall for a second and watches those doors open up like castle gates for a king. Avocado man stumbles over his feet instead and lands himself in the pre-made bouquet refrigerator.

3:50

He scans the shelves and settles on a bright arrangement of sunflowers and mums, tiny red roses weaved between the bigger blossoms. He grins again. The linger is real long this time.

The last time I got flowers from my stump of a man it was carnations. Yellow. No strawberries.

3:55

I’ll be five minutes late to dinner tonight.

Write Something

It tells me to write something
that little voice in my head,
Get ready!
it says.
Anything will do.

Write something inspiring, but not too deep-
inspiring with a hint of sarcasm-
Write something a tad bit hillarious-
maybe something that'll shed a tear.

Anything. Write anything.

But all I got is this.

Dealing with disappointment

Today I had to tell the kids who won {and didn't win} student council positions.
 I kid you not- I could not look at them in the eye.

They just look so sad when they don't get picked for things like this! And I remember!

I remember that kid, Ben was his name, in 5th grade who WON student council president of the whole school. I was devastated. I had worked so hard on my posters and my speech. My mom didn't help me with that stinkin glitter glue, and I had no fancy pictures or glossy posters to show- just a few markers and some poster board with some silly slogan and my mediocre artwork.

And I got nothin. All that hard work for nothin.

So, tiny kid in the 7th grade who zipped out of the room before the first slobbery, wet tear hit the floor, it's ok.

Marilyn Monroe said

Sometimes Good Things Fall Apart So 

Better 

Things Can Fall Together

Amen Marilyn! Amen!

I'm finding this to be more and more true in my life as I get older. Who knows what would have happened if I had been president of the 5th grade. Probably nothing. But maybe I would have gone on to do student government in middle and high school- which would of course lead to some ridiculous major like foreign diplomacy- I would have moved to France to study the EU- never have met my husband- and be stuck in France with too much leg hair and the British Prime Minister breathing down my neck! THE HORROR!

    ______________________________________________________________

All I'm saying is that it's ok when things don't work out the way we planned. I could never have imagined this life I live in a million years. So many things have worked out far better than I'd ever planned, while some things are just on the horizon, and others have been pushed to the wayside.

Thankfully, life is STILL beautiful. Everyday I'm amazed at all the wonderful things in this world. My precious pooch who snuggles into bed for a cozy nap, my darling students who grin at me until I let them off the hook, my hilarious husband singing Frozen in the shower at the top of his lungs.

These are the things that have the power to make us happy- not being 'President' of anything! Disappointment may sting for a few minutes, hours or days- but when you turn around to see the hugs, smiles, and love that results from your efforts, it's all worth the tears.

Be Happy my friends. That is how you deal with disappointment.

A little easter Bunny never hurt either...

Ideas

I've been thinking about how I've become an epic writing failure.

Granted I do have a full time job and a life- I feel like I've lost sight of my love to write and that makes me sad. So here is my attempt to get writing again. I've come up with some ideas and plan to write at least one essay a month. Essay,story,whatever I feel like. This will not be a story about life right now or the goings on of my and bens life. It will just be writing.

- "girl" friends

- this is believe

- the baby question

- dogs puppies and other canines

- my bed

- why head stands cure hopelessness 

- kicking the sugar habit 

- disappointment,grief, and understanding the plan

- the title teacher

There's nine for now. That should get me through this year at least!  Hopefully this is a goal I can reach!

February Fibs

I have no fibs but I thought it was a clever title eh? Look at this Cutie!

February was a crazy craz month for Ben and I. The first two weeks were insanely busy as I tried to finish up my Yoga teaching certificate requirements and Ben had lots of midterms! We saw each other occasionally when I dropped off dinner at school before heading to yoga...it was rough. I don't think we've ever eaten out so much in our lives. grossy. Those two weeks ended with Ben's birthday which was a huge success complete with tasty carrot cake- friends- and nutella hot cocoa. Oh yes and balloons, homemade pizza, and PF changs.

I surprised him with 25 balloons with 25 memories attached!

By the 3rd week I thought it was over! Lies. ALL Lies. First Ben got a little cold then a little food poisoning. lovely. Next I got a maaajor cold and was bed ridden for 4 days straight. Oh did I mention those four days included Valentines Day AND my birthday? Peachy really. Thankfully Ben pulled through on V-day and sent me some gorgeous Flowers at work which made me smiley :) 

Then on my birthday I wasn't well enough to leave at all but we did order some pizza and watch 'She's the Man'- possibly one of the best movies of all time. Sadly I was also covered in snotty tissues so few pictures captured the beauty.

Annnywayyyy- I finally have recovered and was able to spend way too much money this past weekend sprucing up my wardrobe with Laura at the outlets. Truly one of the most fabulous shopping extravaganzas of my life- Laura is a pro.

In other news

-haven't heard from any med schools

-haven't heard from BYU

-no clue what we're doing next year.

But life is pretty great- just chugging along. I'm sure there's more but I'm just trying to keep up with life right now!

Riley and Ollie have at it to win the heart of all the ladies

Best student award- seriously needed during this intense month!

My list of ten

I read this article this morning hoping for some inspiration- it was just what I needed-
breaking up with your ideal self
heaven knows I need to do this but it's SUPER hard! I've always had an image I strived to project and I usually achieve it. But it's my future self that I have a hard time with- especially when My future is so hazy and uncertain.

So instead of thinking about my future this morning I will take this article's advice
list of ten
Here is my list of ten things I love right now.


1. Frozen peach smoothies

2. My cozy bed piled high with blankets and plush pillows

3. When my pup sprints out of the kennel to jump on me every morning

4. The way my body feels like a rock star after a yoga class

5. My husbands healthy cooking

6. Watching my husband cook with that concentrated face

7. The apple cinnamon smell of my classroom when I walk in (thanks to my fabulous TA)

8. When my students surprise me and bring me apples in the morning

9. Downton Abbey episodes that make you laugh and cry and giggle like a 12 year old

10. Puppy snuggles


There's a lot of good in this life right now. I just forget sometimes.