Currently

template/idea stolen from the lovely Mrs.Lysenko ....

our lives currently.

Eating- 
Having finally finished sam's blanket for Henry we've gotten back into the habit of having dinner. For a while it's been "fend for yourself!" night, every night....rough times for the Benjamin. Either that or we mooched- a free pizza from Terra Mia, take-out from Bombay House, and of course another free pizza at Alan and Catherine's. Seriously it was time for some homemade foodage!

Loving-

Right now I'm obsessed with my future puppy. He's a miniature labradoodle! He won't be born for a bit yet...but it's in the works people! I will finally have a furry friend of my own! Both Ben and I are also recently loving cross country skiing. We traveled up to Park City over Martin Luther King day weekend and had a ball playing with family in the perfect trails.


Feeling-
Deprived. I've been trying to watch the calories and take better care of myself but mostly I just miss chocolate, cookies, cake, and other sugary items. Ben has been feeling both pooped and enlightened as he's studying for the MCAT coming up this spring. I have been recruited to help cut out flash cards. I'm pretty dang good if I do say so myself! But honestly I've been feeling great after getting into a Yoga class at BYU. I forget that my whole body needs care, not just my empty stomach.

Wanting-

I've been sincerely wanting bath salts....weird I know. But I have this strange desire for bath salts, oils, bubble bath etc. I've never liked taking baths but recently it's all I want to do. I feel so stressed after working with kids all day that I just want to walk through the door, ditch the stiff outfit and climb into a soothing bathtub. Ben's sincerely wants a clean living room.....turns out the baby blanket required the use of the couch, floor, and coffee table for a straight week :)

Enjoying-
When it's late Saturday night and all the friends have gone, we can be found absolutely entranced by Merlin the new TV show on Netflix we cannot get enough of. Who can resist nerdy actors portraying Medieval hero's? We've also been enjoying the putrid and dangerous filthy air of Provo's newest Inversion. Joyful. As always, we've been enjoying family time. This month we had a Winslow dinner with the Hancock side and lots of Fun Times with the Otto's- skiing, climbing, but mostly--Banana Grams.

It's been a good month :)

Week Two. Wisdom.

This week I focused on seeking wisdom.
In Luke 2:40-52 is the story of Jesus growing up. There's not a whole lot to say but what is said is pretty important. It says that He "waxed strong in spirit, filled with wisdom, and the grace of God" and that He "increased in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man."

important points

• even though Christ is and was perfect He still had to learn, grow and experience.
• He found favor in the eyes of God his father AND with mortal man. This means that we cannot simply go around waiting with our LDS friends for the 2nd coming and hiding away from the real world. We are to be IN the world but not OF the world. Being powerful, popular, or well-known are not bad things, in fact they could help spread the gospel even more!

in Matthew 11:28-30 Jesus is speaking about those who labour and are heavy laden (which is what I feel like on a regular basis teaching 7th graders...). He asks us to take his yoke upon us, and to LEARN of Him. I was always concerned with the yoke part and forgot about the learning. We are to Learn of Christ so that we can be like Him and ask for his help. That is the only way we will find rest.

In the LDS magazine the Ensign, there was a talk by Elder Anderson entitled Wisdom of God this month. Elder Anderson talks about being wise in the ways of God instead of the ways of the world. Though we must live in the World, we do not have to be wiser than we are in the ways of God. Does that make sense?

this is what I mean...

We need to FIRST make sure we are following the teachings, lessons and directions from the Lord.

THEN we can be sure we are aligned in the ways of the Lord. 

If the two ever crossover or clash, we will always know which to follow if we follow the Lord's ways first. 

Heavenly Father will take care of that, I'm positive. But we can help take care of ourselves if we learn the  lessons He has already set out there for us to learn in the scriptures and through the prophets. 

ah, Oh to be wise.

Faith is fearless, sometimes.

This week I studied faith in the scriptures. Specifically faith in the birth of Jesus Christ.

oh yesh, I forgot to mention that i'm going to be trying to study some aspect of Christ's life each week and then report on my findings here.

Annywayysss. So I looked at a few key places where the birth of Christ was foretold and I learned more than I bargained for.

In 3rd Nephi, Nephi is explaining that Samuel the Lamanite's prophecy had not yet come to pass. Samuel had prophesied, in Helaman14, that when Jesus was born there would be a day, a night, and a day with no darkness. The light would shine all through the night and the people would know that their Savior had been born. But it hadn't happened yet and the non- believers were getting restless. They set a date and vowed that if the prolonged day was not accomplished by then that the believers would be destroyed.

With that huge background.....
Nephi explains that the people believed in the coming of Christ so much that they had "faith unto destruction". They were willing to wait until they were wiped off the earth to know that their was hope. They were willing to sacrifice their lives and posterity to simply believe in a chance day. The day wouldn't even be anything grand, no fireworks, or holy messengers. No singing angels or shepherds in a field. All they would see is a longer day than usual and a new star in the heavens.

I was shocked. How could they have so much faith? There are people in the world that STILL cannot believe that Christ even ever lived though there is plenty of evidence. I know that Christ lived, and died for us, but I know because I've been taught, I've read about his life, I've even traveled where his apostles have traveled to feel that spirit.

But would I have had "faith unto destruction" back then? Would I have had that unfailing faith for just a longer day? That is what faith is. It is absolutely fearless. Knowing that Heavenly Father will keep his promises to us if we are diligent and obedient to his word and gospel.

I want to have that much faith, to be so full of the knowledge of Jesus Christ that I'm not even afraid of destruction. I'm thankful that I live in a time when I can read about the beautiful signs and miracles of His coming, both past and future. And like in 3rd Nephi 2:1, I will not forget those signs and I will watch for them.

I will have faith unto destruction.

What makes you Brave?

I asked my students to write a journal entry on what makes them brave today.

I didn't get to read the answers but I can't stop thinking about it. I explained that I feel like a new year is terrifying, and sad, and hard, and that I feel like just giving up at the thought of a new year. But there has got to be something that keeps us motivated right? Something that keeps us from falling off our bed in the morning and crawling into a tiny ball in our PJ's and sucking our thumbs until the night comes again? There's got to be.

These are the things which make us brave. That make us brave? who knows.

Anyway. There are several things that makes me brave.

1. Prayer to my Heavenly Father. I cannot imagine not being able to access that relationship every day and being constantly comforted and buoyed up by His love and care.

2. Sugar. For real. I am absolutely addicted to it and I think about the next delicious thing I'm going to make and what it's going to look, taste, and smell like. I'm obsessed.....for this readon I'm on a processed/baked sugar fast for the next 2 weeks. Whoop-de-do....

3. Ben. That guy is so dang positive! I seriously think he must have some strange book that translates women talk. Today (the beginning to that lovely monthly gift) he decided he would help me go to Costco, help me do the laundry, clean all the dishes and the kitchen, and rave about dinner even though it was a little off. Dear Heavens he is heaven sent.

4. Future. The future must be brighter because it can only get better from a day where one would like to be squashed between the wall and her gigantic bed in footie pajamas with a jar of nutella. The future hold gorgeous things, the end of the term, the end of the year, summer, family, our family, beautiful life.

I could go on and on.

I guess I'm trying to say that love makes me brave. My love for things, people, time, and their never wavering love for me. I am trying to be brave world, but it's very scary out there.

The Interim

At the end of something fabulous and the beginning of something unknown I tend to fall apart.

The whole nine yards...
-sobbing
-gloomy
-sugar binge
-uptight
-disagreeable
-and generally sad.

Plain old sad.

When I got married this happened for a goo two weeks straight and then another couple months here and there. Don't get me wrong, I was thrilled to marry Ben! It's the best thing that's happened so far in all my 23 years! But the mourning of my old life, and the transition to my new one was devastating for me. I could not make the two slip into one another like a hand in a glove. One life was a very gnarly old hand and the other life was a sleek, leather glove.

I've coined this strange occurrence "the interim".

Lately I've been plagued by one of my more difficult interims. We had one of the most amazing Christmas Breaks I've ever had. It was full of family, friends, food, lazyness, memories, skiing, food, laughter, games, anniversaries, black diamonds, aquarium fish, food, shopping, sisters, brothers, mommies and pops, and naturally-cookies.

Needless to say it was perfect, the perfect break from my life on planet.....well, for appropriateness' sake....middle school.
No more, yelling, running around, teaching, planning, monotony, surprises, kids, papers, assignments, parents. No More me being an adult.
Oh yes, plus I finally got to see my husband :)

We returned to ProvoLand after New Year's and the effect of my interim was shocking. I immediately felt awful and terrified of what was coming next. Mind you I knew exactly what was coming next but I could not come to terms with it. I couldn't leave my tiny paradise behind and go into the world of 6-3pm. again.

Thankfully I have the most darling husband in the world who holds me tight and listens when I'm low then makes me tea in my favorite owl mug. Love him.

Anyway, tomorrow this interim ends. The new beginning starts and the sadness will start to fade as I remember how much I love those kids and how hilarious my life is. I will go to the grocery store and revel in the ability I have to pick out my own food and cook meals I love and experiment in the kitchen. I will drag my dirty laundry down the stairs into the 10 degree weather and wash it gladly so I can once more nuzzle my nose into Ben's shoulder and smell home. I will call up my sister and sister-in-law (my new best friends) and we will go to the gym and talk about love while pretending to stay healthy.

But for now- excuse me while I tear up and take my last interim moments up by watching the season premier of Downton Abbey.