The Interim

At the end of something fabulous and the beginning of something unknown I tend to fall apart.

The whole nine yards...
-sobbing
-gloomy
-sugar binge
-uptight
-disagreeable
-and generally sad.

Plain old sad.

When I got married this happened for a goo two weeks straight and then another couple months here and there. Don't get me wrong, I was thrilled to marry Ben! It's the best thing that's happened so far in all my 23 years! But the mourning of my old life, and the transition to my new one was devastating for me. I could not make the two slip into one another like a hand in a glove. One life was a very gnarly old hand and the other life was a sleek, leather glove.

I've coined this strange occurrence "the interim".

Lately I've been plagued by one of my more difficult interims. We had one of the most amazing Christmas Breaks I've ever had. It was full of family, friends, food, lazyness, memories, skiing, food, laughter, games, anniversaries, black diamonds, aquarium fish, food, shopping, sisters, brothers, mommies and pops, and naturally-cookies.

Needless to say it was perfect, the perfect break from my life on planet.....well, for appropriateness' sake....middle school.
No more, yelling, running around, teaching, planning, monotony, surprises, kids, papers, assignments, parents. No More me being an adult.
Oh yes, plus I finally got to see my husband :)

We returned to ProvoLand after New Year's and the effect of my interim was shocking. I immediately felt awful and terrified of what was coming next. Mind you I knew exactly what was coming next but I could not come to terms with it. I couldn't leave my tiny paradise behind and go into the world of 6-3pm. again.

Thankfully I have the most darling husband in the world who holds me tight and listens when I'm low then makes me tea in my favorite owl mug. Love him.

Anyway, tomorrow this interim ends. The new beginning starts and the sadness will start to fade as I remember how much I love those kids and how hilarious my life is. I will go to the grocery store and revel in the ability I have to pick out my own food and cook meals I love and experiment in the kitchen. I will drag my dirty laundry down the stairs into the 10 degree weather and wash it gladly so I can once more nuzzle my nose into Ben's shoulder and smell home. I will call up my sister and sister-in-law (my new best friends) and we will go to the gym and talk about love while pretending to stay healthy.

But for now- excuse me while I tear up and take my last interim moments up by watching the season premier of Downton Abbey.